Post Pope Letdown

I'm not a Catholic, but I do feel a connection to the only western church that has some grounding in ritual, recognizes Godliness in lay women & men who can & do become saints & to the obvious veneration of Mary who is rarely even mentioned in other forms of Christianity.

When Francis recently became the Pope, I got downright giddy when I heard he was asking us to remember the poor, the downtrodden & to even have compassion & acceptance of GAYS! Whoa.

Then he tried to send me & more then half of the human race back into our corner of oppression. It's o.k. not to have women priests because it is not in the original 'doctrine' & Jesus was a man. Huh?

What a shame & what would Jesus have to say about this? What a shame to be present & affirming to men & children, but not to women. What a damn shame.

Women I Admire! xo

Sade 54

Judy Dench 78

Frida Kahlo Died age 47

Tina Turner 73

Anna Quindlen 61

Joni Mitchell 69

Michelle Obama 49

Helen Mirren 67

Annie Lennox 58

Beyonce 31

Georgia O'Keefe died at 99

Melissa McCarthy 42

Tina Fey 43

Peg Shapiro 60

Angela May 54

Adele 25

Lori & Corbin 43

Florence Welch 26

Tilda Swinton 52

The Astonishing Range of Chagall

Marc Chagall was born Moishe Segal into a Jewish family in Liozona, Belerus, while still part of the Russian Empire in 1887. At the time of his birth, half the population of his town was Jewish. Although picturesque, the city was built mostly of wood so little
of it survived the years of occupation & destruction during World War II. He was the eldest of nine children & his father, Khatskl Shagal, was employed by a herring merchant, while his mother, Feige-Ite, sold groceries from their home. Although poor, there was always enough food to eat & the family was close.

A turning point of his artistic life came when he noticed a fellow student drawing. Chagall would later say that there was no art of any kind in his family's home & the concept was totally alien to him. When Chagall asked the schoolmate how he learned to draw, his friend replied, "Go & find a book in the library, idiot, choose any picture you like & just copy it." He soon began copying images from books & found the experience so rewarding he then decided he wanted to become an artist.


"He had two basic reputations," writes Lewis, "as a pioneer of modernism and as a major Jewish artist. He experienced modernism's golden age in Paris, where he synthesized the art forms of Cubism, Symbolism & Fauvism & the influence of Fauvism gave rise to Surrealism". Yet throughout these phases of his style "he remained most emphatically a Jewish artist, whose work was one long dreamy reverie of life in his native village of Vitebsk."

Years later, at the age of 57 while living in America, Chagall confirmed this when he published an open letter entitled, To My City Vitebsk: "Why? Why did I leave you many years ago? You thought, the boy seeks something, seeks such a special subtlety, that color descending like stars from the sky & landing, bright & transparent, like snow on our roofs. Where did he get it? How would it come to a boy like him? I don't know why he couldn't find it with us, in the city—in his homeland. Maybe the boy is "crazy" but "crazy" for the sake of art. ...You thought: "I can see, I am etched in the boy's heart, but he is still 'flying,' he is still striving to take off, he has 'wind' in his head." I did not live with you, but I didn't have one single painting that didn't breathe with your spirit and reflection.

Although he traveled the world creating set designs, cathedral windows & opera house ceilings,  a copius collection of treasured art displayed in museums & private collections around the world & experienced the horrors of Nazism & the premature death of his beloved wife, there remains a freshness & innocence to his work that creates, in me, infectious smiles & warmth.

Flatlining

This is my lovely son Gabriel who is 3 years old in the top picture & 13 in the bottom. It's difficult to tell from his happy smile that by the time the first one had been taken, he had been born with a lack of oxygen at birth; hospitalized for dehydration, reflux, eye surgery, adnoids out, ear tubes in & seizures. He had also been diagnosed with mental retardation & initially with ADHD, (which really turned out to be bipolar disorder), tourette's & OCD.

The thing about Gabe is none of this matters. He has been smiling since he left the womb & is an absolute savior & gift to everyone who is lucky enough to cross his path. We live in a very small community & I have not been Diane & his dad has not been Greg for a very long time..... we're Gabe's mom & dad.  He's in a teenager's body with a cognitive age of about 5 years behind that, which definitely keeps life interesting.

Gabe spent the better part of the last two weeks in Children's Hospital with what started as sinusitis in his nose, that spread to his eye & required around the clock antibiotics. He came home briefly but was back in the hospital the next day because his eye started to swell up again & one shoulder 'locked' into a weird position up towards his ears. Freaked the Doctors out, so Greg got in his car with an emergency pass for the ferry & went back. He finally got another CAT scan at 10pm & a bed by 1:30am with more IV antibiotics. They HAD been afraid that he was exhibiting signs that the infection had leaked into his BRAIN, but it hadn't, Thank God.

It was the weirdest thing when I found out he had to go back again. I told Greg he had to take him because I could NOT get my head around it. I just went completely FLAT. I could not feel a THING & I did NOT want to go back to the hospital. I called 3 close friends who all said I should probably follow them over, but finally called my therapist. She drove right over & we talked it through & she told me it was o.k NOT to go right away. THEN I started bawling. I hadn't had a decent night's sleep in days &  went to that child place of being paralyzed by exhaustion & it took her to tell me my feelings were o.k.

Long story, but a few days later when he was home again the Doctors were calling by 8am to get him to come back in for a check up, but I never called them back. Gabe has been SUCH a trooper for almost 2 weeks now that we just got in the car & drove to an animal rescue place he likes to go to & hung out like normal people. He tired easily & slept all the way home, but he was fine. It was so great to not feel fear & dread for a change.

Theo van Rysselberghe - Pointillism

" The practice of Pointillism is in sharp contrast to the traditional methods of blending pigments. Pointillism is analogous to the four-color CMYK printing process used by some color printers & large presses that place dots of Cyan (blue), Magenta (red), Yellow, & Key (black). Televisions & computer monitors use a similar technique to represent image colors using Red, Blue & Green (RGB) colors.
If red, blue & green light  are mixed, the result is something close to white light. Painting is inherently subtractive,  but pointillist colors often seem brighter than typical mixed subtractive colors. This may be partly because subtractive mixing of the pigments is avoided & partly because some of the white canvas may be showing between the applied dots. The painting technique used for pointillist color mixing is at the expense of the traditional brushwork used to delineate texture." Wickapedia

Life is What Happens....

......when we're making plans. I have missed blogging here, but am making do on my son's I Pad since my laptop bit the dust a few months ago. Running a business on a little tap screen is tedious & I'm afraid I'm spoiled & miserable while I count pennies needed for a new MacBook. So, I will return, sooner then later I hope......

No Place On Earth

NO PLACE ON EARTH brings to light the untold story of 38 Ukrainian Jews who survived World War II by living in caves for 18 months, the longest-recorded sustained underground survival. Built upon interviews with former cave inhabitants, as well as Chris Nicola, the caving enthusiast who unearthed the story, NO PLACE ON EARTH is an extraordinary testament to ingenuity, willpower and endurance against all odds.

http://www.noplaceonearthfilm.com/ 

"Norurting Helinn Love"

Scarlett Lewis walked into her home a few weeks after her son Jesse, age six, was murdered at Newtown. There on the the kitchen chalkboard was a message from Jesse, written before he died. "Norurting Helinn Love" or Nurturing Healing Love, spelled phonetically.

"My nickname for Joey was Lollipop because she was sweet, round & sticky. Joey was autistic & had apraxia, which made her unable to speak. She was my life's work. .... I have to take all this energy & help other children who have special needs. We want the world to know about her life. She was amazing & now we want to keep her love going." Bob & Michelle Gay

"She sends me signs. One day I found two tiny white flowers on the floor. All I could think was, "Catherine your wings are beautiful."

Musee d' Orsay 'The Angel of the Odd' Exhibition

'It was in the 1930s that the Italian writer & art historian Mario Praz (1896-1982) first highlighted the dark side of Romanticism, thus naming a vast swathe of artistic creation, which from the 1760s onwards exploited the shadows, excesses & irrational elements that lurked behind the apparent triumph of Enlightened Reason.

This world was created in the English Gothic novels of the late 18th century, a genre of literature that fascinated the public with its penchant for the mysterious & the macabre. Many painters, engravers & sculptors throughout Europe vied with the writers to create horrifying & grotesque worlds: Goya, Géricault, Füssli & Delacroix gave substance to the ghosts, witches & devils of Milton, Shakespeare & Goethe, whereas C.D. Friedrich & Carl Blechen cast the viewer into enigmatic, gloomy landscapes.

From the 1880s many artists picked up this legacy of Dark Romanticism, turning towards the occult, reviving myths & exploring new ideas about dreams, along with  the horror stories of Poe & Barbey d’Aurévilly. After the First World War, Surrealists took unconsciousness dreams & intoxication as the basis for artistic creation, thus putting the finishing touches to the spirit itself of Dark Romanticism. At the same time, the cinema seized on Frankenstein, Faust & other masterpieces of this genre that are now firmly established in the collective imagination.' (Excerpted from Musee d' Orsay 'The Angel of the Odd' exhibition, currently showing).

William A. Bouguereau Barrias/Nature Reveals Herself

My favorite sculpture at Musse

Morpho

 I descended, dreamt & drowned
bit hard the poison underground
prayed, wrote, with ground lead bits
bitten nails, tears on fits
 I lied, bled, stumbled, fled
released insects from my head
fluttered, crashed through twisted storms
quivered on slick green thorns
dropped torn wings & heavy tome
rose up stronger & alone

Draw A Picture - Avoid Paying the Check

A card sent by Pablo Picasso as a New Year's greeting in 1919 included good wishes and a hand-drawn sketch of a holiday table. It was signed "Olga and Pablo" (Olga was Picasso's wife). Swann Galleries sold it on Nov. 29, 2012, for $27,600. It's a record price for any signed Picasso postcard sold at auction. 

Of course. There's a story told that Picasso always drew a sketch on the back of every check he sent to pay a bill. He knew that almost everyone would save the check without cashing it--because the picture made the check worth more than its face value.

Searching For Sugarman

Searching for Sugar Man is a Swedish/British documentary detailing the efforts of two Cape Town fans, Stephen 'Sugar' Segerman and Craig Bartholomew Strydom, to find out if the rumored death of American musician Rodriguez is true. Rodriguez's music, which never took off in the US had become wildly popular in South Africa but little was known about him there. In February, 2013 this won the Academy Award for Best Documentary Feature.

Frida's Clothes Closet Opened After 54 Years

Bittersweet Easter Anniversary

I just finished this cross that took HOURS to paint & is mixed with a few tears. I'm feeling the blues, purples & reds of passion & sorrow as my dad's face fades.... I cannot believe it's been almost a year (!) since his passing. I understand that 'sweet' sorrow saying more now; all the feelings that get so mixed up into the jumbled mourning bag of memories.

He would have liked this I think. He used to call me his 'mourning' child when my teen angst wardrobe existed largely of black, black & black accessories. Many more of the bright colors of this cross have been added over the years.

It's been a complicated year & has turned our family's focus to my mom who is fading in her own way now. Part of the angst is FEAR I'm sure; WHO IS this man or woman-child when the generation before us has gone? I've heard the term 'orphan' bantered around a lot this past year as friends parents continue to exit. We feel so much of the promise of life as our babies strain down the canal into the light! Later it calls up the promise of death as we barrel ever faster in our own arching towards the light beyond. It seems to me that terror of how rapidly TIME seems to SPEED UP is really the slippery slope towards our acceptance of our own mortality.

The night before my dad died we spoke on the phone & when I asked him how he was doing he asked me, 'Why is this taking so long?!' I could hear his exhaustion & found myself apologizing for the length of time it was taking for him to go. Everyone had said their goodbyes, including him & this last conversation seemed futile somehow. I remember sitting there listening to his shallow breath before I hung up.

The next morning I awoke from a really deep sleep; two hours after he passed, the phone ringing again. I went in to the bathroom later & from the next room I felt & heard the only comforting sign of his passing then or since. His now calm, strong & steady breathing, before it slowly faded away....

Coming To Light: Edward S. Curtis

 

Trailer for 'Coming To Light' 

 In 1895 Curtis met & photographed Princess Angeline, (c. 1800–1896), the daughter of Chief Sealth of Seattle. This was to be his first portrait of a Native American. Two of his original images were taken of her clamming at the age of 85 on the Puget Sound.

In that same year while photographing Mt. Rainer, Curtis came upon a group of scientists, one of whom was George Grinnel, an expert on Native Americans. Curtis was appointed as the Official Photographer of the Grinnell Alaskan Expedition of 1899 where Grimmel became interested in Curtis' photography & invited him to join another expedition to photograph the Blackfeet Indians of Montana in 1900. Consequently after seeing his work, J.P. Morgan provided Curtis with $75,000 to produce a series of 20 volumes on the North American Indians to include 1,500 photographs. Morgan's funds were to be disbursed over five years & were earmarked to support ONLY field- work for the books, not for writing, editing, or producing the volumes. Curtis received no salary for the project, which lasted over 20 years. 

Over 200 complete sets were eventually published. Curtis' goal had been to not just photograph, but to document as much Native American traditional life as possible before their way of life disappeared. "The information that is to be gathered, respecting the mode of life of one of the great races of mankind, must be collected at once or the opportunity will be lost." Curtis made over 10,000 wax cylinder recordings of Indian language, music & took over 40,000 photographic images of over 80 tribes. He recorded tribal lore, history & described traditional foods, housing, garments, recreation, ceremonies & funeral customs. He wrote biographical sketches of tribal leaders & his material, in most cases, is the only recorded history left.

His work, of course, was not without controversy. Curtis paid natives to pose as warriors at a time when they lived with little dignity, rights or freedom. It is suggested that he altered & manipulated his pictures to create an ethnographic simulation of Native tribes untouched by Western society. It is doubtful that Curtis did this intentionally to mislead, considering his lifelong diligence to this art. His obvious intention was to showcase the American Indian, 'in their own element', as accurately as possible & applied costuming & posing of the Native Americans with idealism beyond his actual intention of realism, albeit euphemistic.

 In 1892 Edward married Clara J. Phillips, (1874–1932) & yogether they had four children: Harold, Elizabeth, Florence & Katherine. In 1896 the family moved to a new house in Seattle where the household also included Edward's mother, sister & brother, & Clara's two sisters. During the years of work on the "North American Indian" Curtis was often absent from home for most of the year, leaving Clara to manage the children & studio by herself. After several years of estrangement, Clara filed for divorce in 1919 & received the Curtis' Studio & his original negatives as her part of the settlement. Edward went with his daughter, Beth, to the studio & destroyed all of his original glass negatives. Clara went on to manage the Curtis studio with her sister Nellie & the two oldest daughters remained in Seattle, living in a boarding house. Their youngest daughter, Katherine, moved to Kitsap County WA & Curtis became a gold prospector in California.

On October 19, 1952, age 84, Curtis died of a heart attack in the home of his daughter Beth in CA, where he is buried. A terse obituary appeared in The New York Times on October 20, 1952:  

Edward S. Curtis, internationally known authority on the history of the North American Indian, died today at the age of 84. Mr. Curtis devoted his life to compiling Indian history. His research was done under the patronage of the late financier, J.P Morgan. The forward for the monumental set of Curtis books was written by President Roosevelt. Mr. Curtis was also widely known as a photographer.

The Sessions: A Poetic Sex Movie

I recently saw 'The Sessions'  which is a phenomenal movie about Mark O'Brien who contracted polio at six years of age & woke up from a coma in an iron lung where he lived most of his life up until he died at age 39. He also attended Berkley to study English & journalism, became a hard hitting activist for the disabled, & as profiled in this movie, visited a sex surrogate at one point to see what it felt like to have sex. I thought it might be some weirdo voyeuristic porn flick, but it actually is anything but, is very well done & quite inspiring to boot!

http://www.foxsearchlight.com/thesessions/

A Documentary about the REAL O'Brien for  $1.99 on Amazon Instant Video:
http://www.amazon.com/Breathing-Lessons-Life-Work-OBrien/dp/B003BZ105U

http://www.salon.com/1999/07/12/obrien

Mark O'Brien & his girlfriend, Susan Fernbach, cuddle outside his iron lung at his apartment in Berkeley in 1997. They were partners from 1995 until his death in 1999.

The Gold Tablecloth

Excerpted from Reader's Digest, December 1954 
By Rev. Howard C. Schade

A young pastor & his wife came to serve in a very old church that had once flourished with many members. It was now run down, in awful shape & worse yet, in late December a severe storm blew in, ripping a huge piece of rain soaked plaster from the inside wall behind the altar, just two days before Christmas.

That afternoon the dispirited couple attended a benefit auction for a youth group. At one point the auctioneer opened an old box & shook out a gold tablecloth that looked to be nearly fifteen feet long! The pastor had the winning bid of $6.50 & brought it back to the church, tacking it up to cover the hole behind the altar.

Just before noon on Christmas Eve, the pastor noticed a woman standing in the cold across the street from the church, waiting for a bus. Knowing that it wouldn't come for another forty minutes, he called out, motioning her to come inside & wait. She told him about her disapointment of interviewing for a job as a nanny to a wealthy family, who hadn't hired her because of her imperfect English as a war refuge.

She sat down in a pew & watched as the pastor adjusted the tablecloth behind the altar & suddenly was standing right beside him. "This is mine! It's my banquet cloth!" she exclaimed, as she showed him the monogrammed initials on the corner. "My husband had this made for me in Brussels before the war!" She explained that her & her husband had opposed the Nazi's & decided they must leave Vienna, Austria where they were living. She went ahead to Switzerland as her husband arranged to have their household goods shipped across the border. She never saw him again & heard that he died in a concentration camp while trying to follow her to Switzerland.

She shared that she had always felt guilty that she got away while he hadn't & ended up immigrating to the U.S. to escape her past & make a new start. The paster tried to comfort her by urging her to take the cloth with her, but she refused & wandered away.

That night, on Christmas Eve, it became clear the that beautifully made tablecloth was a success as it shown in the warm glow of the candlelight. After the service many people complimented the pastor for his choice, including a local clock repairman. "You know many years ago my wife & I owned a very similar cloth!" & as he smiled as he said she would only use it when the bishop came to dinner.

The pastor suddenly became very animated as he sputtered out the story of the woman who had been in the church that morning. The startled jeweler clutched at his arm. "Could it be? Does she live?" The pastor soon managed to get in touch with the family who had interviewed the woman & as the sun rose up on Christmas morning, the reunited couple wept after nearly 10 years of thinking the other had been lost to them during the war.

Stairway to Heaven

Nancy Wilson & Choir Bring Robert Plant to Tears Preforming Stairway to Heaven
Kennedy Center Honors

Some Holiday Perspective

I was going to tell friends & family I just can't find the time to send out holiday cards because there are too many Etsy & Amazon orders to fill. Woe is me. : /

I was going to let you know that our Gabe had a seizure at school last Monday, very similar to the one he had at the ocean several years ago.

I was going to share how sad it is for us that dad isn't here for Christmas ..... & our year of 'firsts' without him has been so bittersweet.

These past few months have bred Hurricane Sandy, increased unrest in the Middle East, a Syrian President determined to kill his own people instead of stepping down & today 27 people are dead, 20 of them children, who were attending elementary school when an armed gunman came in & shot them all before shooting himself.

Gabe is fine. I'm fine. Camparatively, I think most of us are pretty damn fine. xoxo

Hecho en Mexico English Trailer